I Wanna Conquer the World
by Reillusioned
Summary: Ember answers a few questions about herself, the cosmos, and her music tastes.


(A/N) I recently realized that, unless I'm missing some very important episodes, they never really explain what a ghost really is. So, here's my view. Review, you little squishmonkeys! I don't own squat.

Side note: Please don't read this if you're one of those people that just skims through to get a gist of the dialogue, it'll just confuse you.

(-)

My name is Amber.

Yeah, I know, that's not what I have people chant, but it was my original name. The one I carried during Life.

Not too many people know that.

I like it that way.

The name I go by now is Ember McLain.

My Lifename was Amber McLane. Some ghosts chose an entirely new name when they Pass. I simply chose to jazz up my old one. None the wiser, no harm done. I'd been wanting to spruce it up for a while anyways.

I mean, come on, Skalker? Pfft. "I am the Hunter!" No thanks. I was never one for melodrama.

I was never one for anything, really.

Just because I tried to take over the world as a ghost doesn't mean I was particularly outgoing in Life.

I didn't have blue hair. I was a brunette. And I didn't dress the way you see me now, though the colour schemes were similar. Nobody could ever remember my name, which may be why I have a bit of a complex about it now. I was the kid who always sat in the corner, listening to my walkman. I wasn't particularly social, mostly because I didn't need to be. Music was everything to me. My best friends were guitar riffs and drum solos. That was the way I liked it, and I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

But I would have changed the world.

What is a ghost?

A ghost is what happens when someone dies, and really had better things to do.

Maybe that's a little too simple. I'll explain.

When a person dies, there are a number of things that could happen. It depends mostly in whatever they believe in. Reincarnation, Oblivion, Nirvana, and Purgatory. Plus the uncountable little sects and ideas. But Reincarnation is the most common. It happens. I only found that out after I Passed, though. Oblivion is when you're gone. Just snuffed out. No soul, no memories, no remenants. Gone. No coming back.

Not a lot of souls pick that one.

Nirvana. The VIP of death. Heaven. You have to have been very good in life to get in there. Many will enter, few will win. That kind of thing. It's invite only, and I wasn't invited.

Purgatory. That's what Cosmos calls it. We call it the Ghost Zone.

It's the stepping stone back into the World. Those souls that have no other choice or just want another chance get sent to that huge green and purple expanse, to try and fix things before their time is up.

I remember when I was alive, there was a movie that tried to explain us it its own strange way. Living impaired, that's what it called us. It said we had 'unfinished business'.

The Ghost Zone. That's where you go if you have unfinished business.

Because from the Ghost Zone, if your will is strong enough, you can influence the World, even if it's only in small little ways. We're not supposed to be able to escape into the World. The Halfa changed that.

Cosmos was none too pleased. But they're not allowed to interfere.

We were delighted. We are allowed.

Because Life is a bureaucracy.

It's run by the Cosmos. Cosmos is controlled by the Beings and managed by their secretaries. Who, for astral existences, can be really whiney. They decide where you go. Almost everybody gets the Reincarnation option and the Oblivion, but the number of souls given the Heaven offer dwindles every year.

What, did you think you had control? Did you put your faith in destiny?

Either way, you're wrong.

There's a set path alright, but never for something as insignificant as a single person. The path directs the overall flow. Interspecies wars, evolution, stuff like that. There's no ineffable plan for the muffin you had for breakfast.

Because there are three kind of events. The Might happen, the Should happen, and the Will happen.

Might happen is speculation, nothing set in stone. Like your muffin.

Should happen is what we're pretty sure will happen, but a few strong-willed mortals can usually set it off course.

Will happen is for the really big stuff. Even if it's something horrible, you have to let is happen, because it's set in stone. If you do manage to change it, Space/time will implode.

Painfully.

And that's why the Beings don't tell mortals their plans.

Because mortals are such stubborn fools.

Anyway.

Those like me, we go for Purgatory, as Cosmos calls it.

The only downside is that we have to stay there. Until Ragranok.

Only the Beings know when that is, and they're not sharing the information.

So why did I chose the Ghost Zone? What was my unfinished business?

I wanted to change the world.

I wanted to take over the world and make it better. Fix things. Get rid of classes and preconception, rid myself and everyone else of labels and misdirected hatred, maybe do a little environmental work. I had already started plotting. My first act was going to get rid of SUVs when I got hit by one downtown. My spine snapped into an unpleasant number of pieces and I died almost on contact. Fun, huh? Next thing I knew I was standing at a desk staring at an ethereal creature telling me the 'Recent Deaths' division was down the hall.

So I chose Purgatory, figuring I'd just listen to music and pull a few poltergeist pranks until the end of the universe.

Then the Ghost kid opened up a portal.

So yes, I am going to try and take over the world again.

Right after this song.

I wanna conquer the world. Give all the idiots a brand new religion. Put an end to poverty, and cleanliness, and toil, promote equality in all of my descisions…

Notes: Well that was…

Yeah.

Started out as Ember talking about her life and somehow Misfile got dragged in there… And I think there were some theories from Hoshin Engi and FMA hidden in there… And some Bad Religion for good measure… Then some Tom Holt and Terry Prachett… And there was some Casper in there (XD)… What I mean is it was supposed to explain what a ghost is, and turned into some half-baked metaphysical rant, half of which is my own opinions and the other just thrown in to keep in stride with the whole cartoon idea. Plus my whole 'I wanna conquer the world' thing… Which I will do! So don't any of you read this and then take my motives! If you're lucky I'll make you an underpaid minion.

Unless you review! Then you can be a slightly better paid minion: D


End file.
